Effective communication

Effective communication is 20% what you say, 80% how you feel about what you say.

It’s about using the right words with the right people, under the right circumstances.

It’s not about you (not how smart you are) but the other side (whether they understand what you want to communicate to them).

It’s is when you speak with your heart and integrity.

Last but not least, effective communication is about your ability to listen deeply, to develop mutual understanding of one another.

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A better way to compete in anything

It is to compete against oneself.

You still win, which is the aim of any competition. You win over yourself.

You still get better after each completion.

But more importantly, others will help you, cheer for you and support you.

If you’re in school, you compete with your classmates but you can choose to compete against yourself at the tests.

In a race, you try to reach the finish line before other contestants. But you can also choose to beat your last training.

A better way to compete then is against yourself.

When your Why is clear…

When your Why is clear, you can get a following, not just customers.

When your Why is clear, you can be a leader who inspire other people to see what you see and why they should join you.

When your Why is clear, you can be more decisive and make better decisions.

When your Why is clear, money becomes less important.

When your Why is clear, you will stop competing on making it cheaper and better than others. Instead you make it different.

When your Why is clear, you will know what to do and how to do it.

When your Why is clear, you define success better than others.

When your Why is clear, you know whether you should work on your strengths or weaknesses. (We should work on our strengths but there are also times we should improve our weaknesses depending on why you’re doing what you do.)

When you know your Why, you can change the world.

So, start with WHY, know your HOW and build the WHAT that is consistent with your WHY.

Credit to Simon Sinek’s Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action.

Learn this to achieve more in life

Thomas Edison kept going from one failure to another, and another, and another, 10,000 times before he eventually invented the light bulb. But what made him so persistent, so perseverant?

Maybe he’d seen the light bulb long before it existed.

Long before I actually won a scholarship to do my masters degree in law in Japan in 2006-2009, with my mind (not with my eyes) I saw myself in a classroom with my international friends. In fact one of my effective techniques to overcome fear is to quiet my mind and see myself doing it with fun and a good outcome.

Learn to see what you desire with your mind and achieve more in life.

This is what I found in my pursuit of happiness…

I did everything I could in my pursuit of happiness. Earning as much as I can. Being the best man possible for everyone (rich or poor, young or old, big or small…) especially for my family. Reading and learning in other ways I can about the subject. Meditating. Practicing mindfulness. Even being a tough man protecting myself against negativity. And the list goes on, and on.

Outcome? Sometimes I was happy. Other times I was not. I might’ve been better able than others to think positive… to get back on my feet after falling.

The pursuit of happiness left me with an unhappy state of mind. The more I tried to achieve it, the stronger I felt about this state of mind.

What’s wrong? Why did I feel so unhappy so often? Why can’t I just be happier?

Until after years of pursuit did I realize I’d asked the wrong questions!

Instead of asking myself why can’t I be happier, I now ask, how can I be happier? What can I do now to be happier than this? Will what I am thinking and doing now make me happier in years to come? Instead of concentrating my mind on problem solving, I focus my attention on solutions.

What questions are you asking yourself now in your pursuit of happiness?

Effective communication

We communicate with words, gestures and emotions. We talk and see each other and feel the emotions as we talk.

Effective way of communication is more than just this.

It is listening. We like to talk and express ourselves but tend to listen less. Learn to listen more (and talk less) when communicating with others.

It is asking questions. This engage the other side better. Asking questions will give you more information before you make a judgement.

Effective communication is listening and asking questions. Yet we often forget.

A better choice…

It is so easy to complain, condemn and criticize.

But we have a better choice… to go beyond these, to reach an outstanding performance, to live a better version of yourself.

Instead of complaining, condemning or criticizing, we can, with a bit or a lot of effort, learn from, and inspire, other people.

Being a average mind is easy but we can choose to be a great mind.